Heidi Flash

One of THOSE days

I am wondering if I am intellectually superior or if I just work with a bunch of dumbasses. Seriously – if you have a perfectly good fish-cleaning table by the docks – why would you clean a BIG ASS FISH on the boss’s picnic table next to his house? The real answer is because the boss is away and the attitude of this person is "I want to do this here instead of there, so I will." I'm sitting in my office and all of a sudden it looks like a scene from "Birds." Can anyone else remember back to the Alfred Hitchcock film? The sky was full of seagulls. REALLY close to the office. I was on the phone and only half wondering if one of the cats from next door had drug something up from the marsh. So I looked outside. One of the guys I work with is CLEANING A FISH on the BOSS'S PICNIC TABLE. Are you F*&#ing kidding me????????? When I pointed out that we had a perfectly good fish cleaning table he threw a frickin' hissy fit. Seriously - I thought he had turned into a girl! The bad thing is this guy gets away with stupid crap all the time. I remember when I worked in the corporate world. One slip up and you were "written up" after a lecture from the boss. Second time you got a "written warning" that your job would be terminated if you ever did anything remotely stupid ever again. The third time the conversation started out with "maybe you would be better suited in another profession." I'm thinking though that if this guy can't even figure out where to clean fish he may not even make it as a garbage man. I could go on - really - but it has become too exhausting to even think about what a hassle this guy is to work with lately!

So how is YOUR day going? Yesterday was such a glorious day! bfJ and I took some friends out on the boat to the Cape (Lookout) and spent the day enjoying good company, yummy food and fantastic weather. All and all a great day! Then work. YACK! Guess I better get back to it. Thanks for letting me vent.

FIGHT FOR WHAT IS RIGHT! - **UPDATE**

My letter was returned with this note.....

"Judges cannot accept or read mail from individuals"

or something like that. That was the message anyhow. Does that not explain A LOT? I wasn't asking for help on a specific case. I wasn't asking her to take a bribe. I was just expressing my opinion about what is happening in NOT JUST HER COURT, but many courts. What a shame.

FIGHT FOR WHAT IS RIGHT!

I read an AOL article today titled "2 Missing Boys, Father Found Dead" It happened in Champaign, Ill - look it up. Long story short - the mother did not feel like her children were safe with their father for an unsupervised overnight visitation. The police told her if she did not allow visitation she would be arrested. She has had filed charges for FOUR "criminal actions" but the case had not yet been heard.

I wrote the letter (below) to the Judge hearing the case for my daughter. She is a text book case for something like this to happen. Whether you have a similair situation or not, and especially if you do - please write to your local Juv & Dom Relations Judge. Copy my letter - I don't care.  This has got to stop!

I respectfully submit the (attached) article and ask that you consider such in regard to your many custody hearings. My own daughter is currently going through your court to settle matters regarding her two children; my two grandchildren. I purposely have omitted her name as I feel this should not be an individual consideration. This is happening everywhere and I feel it is because the courts are not given enough leeway in making their own decisions based on reason. I know that BOTH parents have rights. I also know though that SOME parents should NOT be allowed visitation without supervision. A person that seemingly loves their children can turn on them in an instant when it comes to relationship issues. 

 

I respectfully ask that any decisions made by you and your court take into consideration that there are facts that have been undisclosed. It is so in my daughter’s case and many others I am sure. I know that in the interest of time courts don’t often have the benefit to ask pertinent questions regarding abuse, living conditions, relationship issues and the like. They may not even know! I know much of the mediation is left up to the parents, the attorneys, the Guardian Ad Litem, and mediation professionals. I also know that my daughter’s attorney is not the best person to tell the WHOLE story. Her concerns are only about staying within the parameters of the law. A lot of which she is still learning.

 

My daughter’s ex has (fortunately) been out of the country for the past several months on business. He has become exceedingly abusive over the telephone. He has made threats to her about taking the children when he comes home. How does one prepare for the inevitable unhappy homecoming? He will be back in the country soon and all signs are that he is not going to be any easier to deal with. Court is something that often happens after the fact. Too many times it’s too late.

 

I fear for my daughter’s life. I fear for the lives of my grandchildren. I become almost ill with anger when I read that another person has taken the lives of their OWN children. It saddens me when they leave the other parent behind to deal with the pain. Because they “win.” They want to hurt the other person. And they have. Children are losing their lives because of the decisions of their elders. Where does it stop?

 

IT’S TIME FOR CUSTODIAL PARENTS TO HAVE MORE RIGHTS!

IT’S TIME FOR CUSTODIAL PARENTS TO BE HEARD!

 

 

AAADD

A friend of mine sent me this (old) joke the other day....(read all the way for my response)

AAADD

KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better even though I have it!!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,
since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the h ouse to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going   to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put   it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of  Pepsi sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don't remember who I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

To which I replied.....

My MORNING yesterday started with WCB (way cool boss)  calling to see if I could find 2 patio heaters to rent for a project that was happening in an hour! I started calling because when we had rented heaters for a party he had one time in the winter the rental company had to have them "brought in" from their warehouse. I'm calling all over town looking for heaters at 8:00 in the morning when the "party side" of the rental companies don't come to work until 9:00 am. While I'm doing all that  daughterA needs to test her new fax machine to make sure it works. I'm sending and receiving faxes. Decide it's time for me to look up how to turn the ringer off of the fax line. Do that while I'm on hold. Meanwhile - I am on both phones - the office phone and my cell phone because WCB keeps calling to ask me TOTALLY unrelated stuff and check on the heater rental progress. I get a "beep" from my daughterA and cut over long enough to tell her "I gotta call you back" to which she says "MOM - it's an emergency!" Okay - stop what I'm doing to hear that grandsonI has locked the door from the garage to the house while daughterA went to grab a smoke and now he is locked inside while she is outside and he is LOSING IT! Having a SCREAMING meltdown which I can plainly hear in the background. She wants me to drive to her house an hour away with the spare key! WTF? I tell her to call the cops - when a child is involved they will get her in the house. So - I go back to my OTHER phone calls and get that taken care of. Then call daughterA back. She wants to know how the cops will get in to the house. "Break a window maybe?" She didn't want that to happen so I walk her thru the steps to calm grandsonI down and get him to unlock the door. Which he does. FINALLY! Only it's the front door he unlocked (the knob) and that door has a deadbolt. ::sigh::  Now we have to go through all the steps again to get him to unlock the OTHER door. Finally success! grandsonI gets the door unlocked.....daughterA cancels the cops......I found 2 patio heaters and WCB stopped calling long enough for me to have my cereal! It was 9:10 am.

 

Who has time for AAADD???????

Wimp!

There are just some plain ole wimps in this world. I say that because I had a guy come in last week to tell me his wife thought our docks were too dark and did not feel comfortable staying there alone. OMG! YOU WIMP! We have one live aboard, 3 others that stay just about every weekend and it's just across from a MANNED emergency marine service company! When bfJ and I were living on his boat I was at a boat yard that was at the end of a street with no lights most of the time AND had to walk a plank to get onto the boat! Sometimes IN THE RAIN!

I was checking out the 20 most dangerous states to live in. NC is ranked number 17'ish (I don't remember exactly). Our biggest crime is burglary. And I must say I feel safe around here (on the coast) about 99.9% of the time.  I'm not much of a wimp though.

In other ramblings.....wcb (way cool boss) is back from his vacation in Hawaii. He brought me a wc necklace.  So far so good that he is back! :)  He was not too thrilled with the cold (he calls it cold) weather we are having. I must agree though that I am ready for some warmer weather. The past three years I have wintered here in Beaufort, NC have been mild compared to this one. All the oleanders are dying off. Guess the ground got too cold. I soooo wanted to plant my garden this weekend but gfDoc says not to plant before Easter. So I am holding off. For that reason AND because they had frost warnings for the weekend. :( 

I'm hoping the weather gets better too so hopefully the neighbors will pick up some of the CRAP on their lawn so they can mow the grass. Can you believe that they live in a DOUBLE-WIDE, have FIVE kids under ten years old and now have added another puppy to their already one dog family! A very small part of me wonders where they all fit! Not enough to ask mind you. I just hope (every day) that they are just renting!

WHAZ ZUP?

I remember I used to blog every day. Every.single.day.  The reason I remembered this is because I was wondering what my ole pal Boozie was up to so checked out her blog. She hasn't written since SEPTEMBER! Okay - I'm not much better. My last post was in December and it was more a rant then a blog.  I guess MySpace, Facebook and all the group memberships have replaced our bloggers world. I still pay for my blog. I wish there was a way I could take all this mis-information and compile it into a free space. OK - enough dwelling. Here's what I have been up to-

December - my daughter moved to New Bern, NC (an hour away from me in NC) in November and December was spent paying her bills, my bills and Christmas! Add a few trips to VA to take care of her court dates for child support and you have my month wrapped up in a nutshell. OH! And I got a speeding ticket! dammmmmit. It was a bad day. My daughter had come to visit for a few days after Christmas. The plan was to have her visit while my son and his family came to visit and then she would take the kids to visit their dad for a few days. BUT - Sometime before Christmas daughterAndrea was driving home from VA and hit a GD DEER! Smashed up the front of "her" truck (I say "her" truck because it actually belonged to BabyDaddy) so bad that she could not drive it after dark. What THAT means is Moi had to drive her and the kids to meet BabyDaddy after Christmas. Got a call from my son the day after Christmas that his dog was sick (vet sick) and was not going to be able to come. When I was annoyed that he could not come because his dog was sick he BLASTED me on the phone. REALLY rude stuff. Did I mention it was the day after Christmas? And I had been paying dA's bills all month? Yeah - I was upset. Anyhow....since the dear ole boy was not going to make it to his Mom's for Christmas there was not much reason to hang out. Packed the grandkids up with dA and the dog and headed north for the "handoff" point. Even though it is halfway it's still almost 2 1/2 hours. ONE WAY! So dA decides she is going to have her friend pick her up at the halfway point too for a visit in VA. Too complicated to go into right now - suffice to say I hauled everyone up and got to ride back alone. And kind of crying because the grandkids did not want to go with BabyDaddy and my son was such a jerk to me. So when the cop stopped me it was about the best thing that had happened to me all day! Thank GOD I have bfJ to come home to.

Jan - not much happening. The fight for child support for dA continues. BabyDaddy is SUCH an ASSHOLE. I hope he reads this too (doubtful) and sees that it has done him no good. The courts are still in favor of the mom as long as she is fit (i.e. not a murderer or drug dealer) (the laws are actually very lenient). I've spent a few weekends at my daughters helping her with furniture moving, thrift store shopping, etc. It hasn't been too bad. The court awarded her a good amount of child support (good meaning she can pay her bills if she is careful) and now all we have to do is wait for it to get deducted from his check, get processed through the dept of support enforcement and get mailed. Yeah - it takes a while - but by the end of the month she got her first check. YEAH!

February - starting off pretty good. Nothing too major going on except for a little snow. dA has been getting regular checks, a hefty tax return and has paid bills on her own! YEAH! Bad news is my Great-Nephew is not doing well at all. His cancer has spread and not taking well to the treatment program he is on. He's only 9! If you get a chance, check out his website and guestbook at www.matthewcostis.org and give him an e-hug. I'm his Aunt Carol by the way..:)

bfJ and I are atill having a great time with the house and new boat. Can't wait to get it back into the water this Spring. It needs a cleanup first though. bfJ took it to Texas with him when he went for Hurricane Ike damage work. The ride back put a whole lot of bugs on the bow! It'll take a while to get that cleaned up. meh - one small patch at a time and it'll be done in no time! And then there are other projects.........all sorts of projects. I should get back to them..............and work........:(

INCOMPETENCE

"lack of skill, lack of ability, ineptitude, useless, stupid"......the list goes on.

One simple thing. All I ask is ONE SIMPLE THING. Do what you are told. Especially when you have a track record of doing stupid (see above) stuff. And ESPECIALLY when I am the one that now has MORE SH*T to do!!!! Lemme 'splain....

Our company gives cakes and pies to various folks about the community that we do biz with throughout the year. I bake the cakes (25 RUM cakes) and the owners wife does the pies (LOTS and LOTS of pies). I then bring them to work and make little gift tags for them.  The gift tag serves a multiple purpose. It lets me know who is getting what; who I have already baked for; who I have left, etc. Anyone with a fair ability to think could figure this out. The way I look at it is if you passed a drivers license test you should be able to read the little tags on each of the cakes and pies and take said cakes and pies to those that are indicated on the STUPID F#%*ING TAG! So the guy delivering the cakes and pies - who has been doing this for us for THREE F&%#*N YEARS  - not because he likes to but it gets him away from the office.....take a breath.....calls me and tells me he had to deliver some cakes to people that didn't have tags. How F&%#*NG STUPID (see above) is that??????? You know what? F! it - I'm going to drink the rest of the rum instead of making cakes and tell the boss that dipsh*t got everything delivered!

Headlines

Reluctant defense secretary 'impressed' with Obama

 

Well NO SHIT! What are you supposed to say to a pack of reporters??? "I took the job even though I didn't want to because the guy is a dumb*ss. Besides - the salary is good." geez - must be a slow news day when the "news" is an obvious statement about your "new boss." I like how they have "impressed" in quotation marks though. "Impressed" can mean soooo many things.................=)

Unforgettable

Have you ever gotten a Christmas present that was unforgettable? I was thinking today when I was reading some helpful hints on holiday gift giving that the most unforgettable present I have ever gotten for Christmas was something so small. I DID say unforgettable not the BEST. This gift was given to me by a co-workers wife. She actually was also a previous classmate of mine but that's neither here nor there. Everyone in the office got the same thing so it wasn't like she planned to give me the most unique gift or anything. But it was homemade. She (have I got you wondering yet?) did a small needlepoint of a corn cob and attached it to a ball mason jar lid and filled the jar with popcorn. I used that jar for so many years I can't begin to tell you. Somehow in one of my moves I have lost track of it, but I sure did get plenty of use out of that little popcorn jar those many years. And I thought of her everytime I made popcorn. Think about THAT this year when you are planning your gift giving.

Help a Sista OUT!

I got an email from my sister today. Seems she is feeling the "pinch" of the economic times we are in. She has had a delayed reaction to it all apparently as she said "I don't know why but this month has been tough. I'm living in constant fear of becoming over-drawn." I thought about that for a minute because I too have been feeling like money is tighter (as in closer to the poor farm cause money is tight EVERYday in my world) than usual of late. Of course in my case it is probably the fact that I am supporting my daughter and 2 grandsons this month because their deadbeat dad is a ...well...a deadbeat dad. She goes to court (WITH me there) on Monday so HOPEfully the outcome will be favorable. But aside from all that I know where Sis is coming from. Gas prices have effected more than filling up our tanks. I feel like we all have a "budget" of sorts in our heads. We know we make enough to cover the mortgage, utilities, gas, groceries, etc and we also have a pretty close "play" money budget figured out. What we haven't gotten our arms around is the fact that the gas and groceries budget is EXTREMEly higher than last month or the month before and so on and so on. Add to that the trickle down effect......one doesn't feel the pain all at once it seems. It's gradual. So a fill up went from $25.00 to $30.00 - meh - not too horrible. But month after month it's eased up and you've made concessions here and there and BAM! All of a sudden your mortgage money isn't there! And it costs $60.00 to fill your tank. And when the F*%# did mayonnaise go from $1.99 to $4.19?!?!? WTF!!!!!! 

What's the answer then? Well - things WILL get better. I went to fill up yesterday and it cost me $25.65. I was so relieved. In the meantime bfJ and I don't go out as much. Not a bad thing at all - he's fun to be with. I take my lunch to work. We ALWAYS use leftovers. And we tighten our belts a little (sure wish I could tighten my jeans!). It WILL be okay. Work hard and stay focused. We're already a step in the right direction with gas prices! And don't plan an extravagant Christmas. Kids have plenty and will appreciate one nice gift better than a dozen cheesy gifts. I plan to take Kmart up on their re-instituted lay-a-way plan. It worked for me back when I was a struggling single mom of two! Thanks Kmart! And HEY - Bill Gates and/or Warren Buffett - I am not opposed to donations to a worthy cause. ME! "Help dis Sista OUT!"